Day 2 - Deep Water

So, I'm 33 years old, Black woman from the South.  Never learned to swim.

Some other people dispute that because I can dog-paddle myself from one end of the pool to the other as long as I can keep my head under water and/or make it in one breath.  I maintain I can't swim until I can tread water without fearing for my life.

Yesterday was my first time ever to swim laps in 11-ft deep water with a kickboard.  Heart pounding, probably flop-sweating but you couldn't see it because I'm in the water, I eventually psyched myself up enough to make it all the way across the pool.  Whoo-hoo!

After a while I was able to open my eyes underwater.  I noticed that the water looked much better in the deep end of the pool - where I felt I was in more danger - than in the shallow end.  In the shallow end the water was murky, the lanes were more crowded, and I could easily see the debris floating around.  It was a little bit gross.

Out in deeper water I couldn't see or stand on the bottom and had to trust physics actually works and I do, in fact, float.  Out there, beyond the BLACK LINE OF SELF-LIMITING DANGER at 5.5 feet the water was bluer and crystal clear and more peaceful.  Fewer people were out there thrashing around.

So, I feel a metaphor coming on.  (Blame those 2 semesters as an English major.)

Could it be that when I push myself beyond those self-imposed limits and irrational fears, my heart will pound, I'll break out into a flop sweat, and it'll be okay anyway?

And could it be that when I look around after I've pushed myself beyond what I think I can do, I'll find a beautiful new world and a compelling new perspective around me?  Hmmm.